Saturday, July 21, 2007

So near yet... so far...

The other day I was listening to the song Bairi Piya... from Devdas. Now I agree with Eliza when she says Devdas has very moving songs, strongly dependent on the mood you are in. Anyway, so while listening to the song I came across the line, Tu duur jo thaa to paas hi thaa, ab paas hai to duur hai kyun?? and chain of thoughts led me here...

Be it your love or your best friend, you want to keep him/her near to you and subconsciously focussed on you. Now holding someone near to you is not a bad thing, but expecting the same thing in return is dangerous. If the person is even away from you for a while for whatsoever reason, you start getting feeling that he/she is ignoring you and you can't come up with a reason, mainly because THERE AREN'T ANY. Still it keeps haunting you that something is definitely wrong and charm/chemistry/bonding is not there any more. If you are "rational", you start explaining YOURSELF. Things change, People Change... , One needs to move on... and what not. Not that these thoughts are wrong, but did you give a pause? Are you sure things have changed? Are you sure the person is changed? We tend to get feeling that we are being ignored, we are being sidelined, we are not same as we used to be in the other person's eye and you have this decision that For greater good, we have to accept reality and move on. Did you ever put it in other person's perspective? Do you even have faintest idea that your best friend needs your attention as much as you do? It might be situation that has turned the way he/she lives has changed his/her approach? You don't gossip as much as you used to, you don't laugh together as much as you used to, you don't spend the long hours on phone you used to. Does that in any way make him/her love you any less? but as you would say people change.... In short, the point is, Being irrationally "rational" and "for greater good" is as much dangerous to a relationship as much "not letting go" is.

PS:- Phew, I have written what I wanted to, but I bet it sounds Hebrew to many readers. (MANY is a misleading term here, considering number of people who read my blog).

7 comments:

Pulkit said...

... and I thought its something to do with Hamilton.

What happened to you? Interacting with too many girls, it seems :-)

shuz said...

I guess a lot of unwanted emotions and much more strains any relation to a large extent. And wt worsens it is when the 'hurt' person decides to do something about it. To be in any kind of a relation is one thing, and to be mature about it is totally different. And when a person learns to strike a balance, it makes everything simple for everybody.

As we grow, we need to understand the fact that we are no more school kids who belonged to so n so ‘groups’ where we belonged to each other. And expecting anything from anyone is a total no-no these days!

I really liked ur blog
See ya around

Vivek said...

Not bad friend...

Uday said...

A relation or a person has so many phases.There are some phases and years when we share gossip, laugh unconditionally, talk for hours and what not. And there are some phases and years when our expressions take a different road. It is not that you are away from your loved one, it is only that your ways of loving him/her don't necessarily include all the above things.

This is one of frequently felt emotion to spouses when they think that the romance/chemistry/bonding in their relation has gone. The charm that the other person and this relation had earlier is nowhere. What we need to understand is, that charm has to go to give space to something else. It is something that happens even if we don't choose it.

If our relation's foundation is Love then we can see what has filled that missing charm. It may be a matured understanding, unspoken care and underlying warmth. Anything new (a relation or a person) is always fascinating. The challenge is to see same beauty in a relation or in a person when things become old. Only true Love can make it shine like gold, isn't it ?

Dear friend, do remember this lines from Ravindranath Tagore.

Let this be my last words : I trust in your Love...

alphabets said...

nice post and nice blog too....

Sujata said...

Nice post! As I have always said, I do believe that 'expectations' are the root cause of most of the disappointments.

Eliza said...

I like the label direct dil se :)
I am watching Friends by dozens these days and I feel there are certain things worth noticing about the affable lot. The way they give space to each other when needed and the way they understand each other's shortcomings and the way they are there for the emotional support is seriously commendable! Yeah I agree that a right balance is required in Friendships. And yes I love love and love Friends.