Devil's Singer

Describe 2006 for music channels in two words :Yes you got it. Himesh Reshammiya. Reshammiya is not only sensation but also a secret, a mystery which remains unfolded. No one could quite understood. Despite far from being melodious, he was rocking all the music charts, not only as composer but also as a singer. Few people had their own doubts/suspicions/theories/hypothesis, but no one could quite prove it.

Some thought that his all-round abilities (singing and crying at same time that is) that earned him his popularity, but Anu Malik too had multi-facet personality i.e. composing (stealing that is), singing (crying that is), but he never got what he "deserved" and had to satisfy himself with face on TV singing Dekho Baarish ho rahi hai.. it's raining.. it's raining.. it's raining.. Mera Dil ro raha hai.. my heart is paining.. it's paining.. it's paining...

A huge set of conspiracy theorists thought that it was his uninque nasal singing that earned him respect, but then again wasn't Anu Malik unique too (i.e. the only singer in bollywood, who actually didn't sing). So after all, what is it??

Our team had our own hypothesis, but we being perfectionists and insisting on Bringing out truth out, no matter what. decided to dig further into this and we finally had a clue. We came to know about this and suddenly all jigsaw pieces seem to fall in the right place. With these interviews and further research we have found out the truth.

People say it was Sonu Nigam who insisted that Reshammiya should sing title song Aashiq Banaya Aapne instead of Sonu, which was followed by record and ear-breaking sales of Reshammiya music numbers. Seeds of success had been sown long before that. Evidences of Ghost-capturing incidences from Gujarat and Reshammiya being Gujarati is not a mere coincidence. It was a lonely night when Reshammiya was trying his hand at singing and while no one on the earth could bear it, his voice crossed three-dimensional frequency barriers and went far ahead and deeper than that until followers of the dark side compalined their lord. The Dark Lord contacted Reshammiya and urged/requested/petrified/stupified , but none of them worked. It wasn't until dark lord promised him success in our world (a la Keanu Reeves of Devil's Advocate ) that Reshammiya agreed to confine his voice to our world. Rest is history, but don't just write it off yet. There is more to it. Dark lord is happy with success of having found an apprentice to torture mere mortals, is signing permanent contract with Himesh Reshammiya on auspicious day of 6/6/6 and Reshammiya will be popular till eternity. It's your right to fight against the dark side, so please sign the petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/please_dont_let_us_rot_in_hell_for_rest_of_our_lives . Once having enough signature, we will forward it to the dark lord for reconsideration of his agreement. Remember your and future generations' future depends on you. Let's awake our generation. Together we can and we will make a difference.

PS:- This was really a poor attempt at Satire when half-asleep. Now that I am reading it again, I realise it and now I'll roll back and go back to Reshammiya following with my room mates.